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Tuesday, October 28, 2008
So, today during our town rehearsal, as Mary Fran and I vented about casting and whined about Charlie Brown and all of that maddness, Jenny, exasperated with our chronic ranting, said that it was the type of thing she wanted to read in our journals.
So, with Jenny's blessing, here I goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo *echo*
The primary reason that, although theatre is my favourite thing to do, I get easily frustrated and obsessive with parts and change my mind so frequently and erratically, I'm torn whether I should be dedicating this much time to it. I know, I know, I should do what I love and screw the rest and its ultimately up to me and blahblahblahblahdy blah, but realistically, I do not, I don't know if I ever will approach my life like that. As much as I wish I could do what I love without inhibitions, I simply can't.
My parents really dislike my constant fixation with theatre above all else- academics, other extracurrics, etc. I know that for Kallen for instance, this is her "thing." I just happen to like and pursue other things, although this is my favourite. Also, one of the reasons I have so many other activities and involvements is that my parents will not support me- fund college, etc.- if I make theatre my purpose. I occupy my time with other activities because I have to find out what I can do with my life besides theatre, although I'm positive I won't enjoy it as much.
I totally understand Kallen's point too, I'm good at other activities and pursue other things, why should I take her one thing away from her?!
Its my favourite...I can't help that.
Yet its also hard to pursue it when you're not getting anywhere. I can see my parent's viewpoint here too. I'd be different if I chose theatre over school if I were a gorgeous, exceptionally talented actress/dancer/singer engenue. I know I'm not and I know that will impede any sort of progression as an actress if I were to, god forbid, act as a profession later in life. I know this, yet I still get my hopes up and weep when they're let down-i.ee- not getting leas/into governor's school/whatever else. If theatre causes me that much disappointment and takes away from more 'productive' interests, how is it possibily worth all the time, effort, blood, sweat and tears?
Which makes me think, if I don't progress with roles and I can't chase that little dream later in life, why do I even bother? Wouldn't I just evade the stress and tears by not auditioning?
Logically, yes. But I still can't. I love it too much, despite that I don't get anywhere and I'm in a giant stress bubble. So several hundred words of a rant later, and I'm still as indecisive and a bit upset now that I've spent so much time recounting and reliving all of that. What else can I do, aside from hoping not to destroy auditions like I always do, second guess like I always do, or get my hopes up like I always do. hah....
Measuring life in love at.3:56 PM
Monday, October 27, 2008
We were embarassing ourselves.
our families.
MUS.
Mr. Greer
and Shakespeare
apparently.
The influx of tech issues (no lights/scances, fog) missed cues, paraphrasing etc. drove mr. greer into diva rant mode.
After notes and a guilt trip, though, we pulled it together and repaired everything
Matt (who came a 2nd time) said it was better
and hopefully it will be even better tonight
I'm going to miss this play- I wasn't actually having fun until production week. THe cast is finally getting close, we're past the fury and angst of tech week, and we're having fun and producing something amazing.
Too bad that didn't happen until the 2nd to last day of the play...
Despite the racy acting, I'm going to miss my part...It's rather amusing, applying garish goth makeup and giggling/moaning/conjuring in front of 300 people.
I'm sure my Grandmother loved that...
More reflection after our last show
Measuring life in love at.7:14 AM
Saturday, October 25, 2008
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I just got home from our second show.
THis experience has been fantastic...tech rehearsals were rough, downright hellish, everyone was pissy and whiny and tired and bloody sick of notes after notes, but it was all worth it. Everyone was energetic and actually alive today, moreso than opening night. Although we (the witches) were better tonight, the tech fx fell apart. Our creepy Banquo scances didn't work, our fog didn't work, a drum was missing. Overall, people loved it, and were thoroughly bewildered by our provactive, creepy conjuring. So lovely....and only 2 more shows....:(
Measuring life in love at.9:30 PM
Saturday, October 18, 2008
ONLY 4 MORE REHEARSALS! AHHHHHH!
AHHHHHHh! AHHHHHH!
for macbeth, that is...
I realize I never really wrote anything after than huge ordeal with Our Town.
I decided to participate after all
I honestly, I don't know how I feel about that, I'm so separated from it because I'm in Macbeth tech/hell mode, so I have no regrets/joys/concerns
I forget I'm in it
I'll have more reflections for that when Macbeth is over and I actually attend a 3rd rehearsal
Macbeth is reallllly coming together, although that doesn't give Mr. Greer any reason so be less of a diva. Notes literally take an hour, not because we have an inordinate amount, but because he has to act out/rant on every single one of his comments
thus, 4-6 rehearsals last until 7:30
apparently the rehearsals have been known to last until 1. 1 AM.
fantastic.
More when I'm less exhausted.
Measuring life in love at.8:00 PM
Ann
Loves:Theatre(shocking), Armenia, Nutella, Rain, Musicals, World Music, Spanish, Origami, Tolerance, Scrubs, Reading, Tech, Poetry, Peace, Screenwriting, Travel, Wedding Cakes, Art Class, Shakespeare, Contemporary Issues.
Loathes: Algebra, High School Musical, Athletics, Blind Patriotic Idiocy, Chapel, Turkey, Azerbaijan, Dress code.
TAGBOARD
talkings.
preferably cbox//shoutmix.
entries;
myself;
shouts;
links;
my past;
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