<![CDATA[
<body><script type="text/javascript">
function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) {
if(window.addEventListener) {
window.addEventListener('load',
function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false);
} else {
window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; });
}
}
</script>
<div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div>
<script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script>
<script type="text/javascript">
gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() {
if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) {
gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({
url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/6798214703007610379?origin\x3dhttps://annstheatreinfatuation.blogspot.com',
where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"),
id: "navbar-iframe"
});
}
});
</script>
]]>
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
So, today during our town rehearsal, as Mary Fran and I vented about casting and whined about Charlie Brown and all of that maddness, Jenny, exasperated with our chronic ranting, said that it was the type of thing she wanted to read in our journals.
So, with Jenny's blessing, here I goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo *echo*
The primary reason that, although theatre is my favourite thing to do, I get easily frustrated and obsessive with parts and change my mind so frequently and erratically, I'm torn whether I should be dedicating this much time to it. I know, I know, I should do what I love and screw the rest and its ultimately up to me and blahblahblahblahdy blah, but realistically, I do not, I don't know if I ever will approach my life like that. As much as I wish I could do what I love without inhibitions, I simply can't.
My parents really dislike my constant fixation with theatre above all else- academics, other extracurrics, etc. I know that for Kallen for instance, this is her "thing." I just happen to like and pursue other things, although this is my favourite. Also, one of the reasons I have so many other activities and involvements is that my parents will not support me- fund college, etc.- if I make theatre my purpose. I occupy my time with other activities because I have to find out what I can do with my life besides theatre, although I'm positive I won't enjoy it as much.
I totally understand Kallen's point too, I'm good at other activities and pursue other things, why should I take her one thing away from her?!
Its my favourite...I can't help that.
Yet its also hard to pursue it when you're not getting anywhere. I can see my parent's viewpoint here too. I'd be different if I chose theatre over school if I were a gorgeous, exceptionally talented actress/dancer/singer engenue. I know I'm not and I know that will impede any sort of progression as an actress if I were to, god forbid, act as a profession later in life. I know this, yet I still get my hopes up and weep when they're let down-i.ee- not getting leas/into governor's school/whatever else. If theatre causes me that much disappointment and takes away from more 'productive' interests, how is it possibily worth all the time, effort, blood, sweat and tears?
Which makes me think, if I don't progress with roles and I can't chase that little dream later in life, why do I even bother? Wouldn't I just evade the stress and tears by not auditioning?
Logically, yes. But I still can't. I love it too much, despite that I don't get anywhere and I'm in a giant stress bubble. So several hundred words of a rant later, and I'm still as indecisive and a bit upset now that I've spent so much time recounting and reliving all of that. What else can I do, aside from hoping not to destroy auditions like I always do, second guess like I always do, or get my hopes up like I always do. hah....
Measuring life in love at.3:56 PM
Ann
Loves:Theatre(shocking), Armenia, Nutella, Rain, Musicals, World Music, Spanish, Origami, Tolerance, Scrubs, Reading, Tech, Poetry, Peace, Screenwriting, Travel, Wedding Cakes, Art Class, Shakespeare, Contemporary Issues.
Loathes: Algebra, High School Musical, Athletics, Blind Patriotic Idiocy, Chapel, Turkey, Azerbaijan, Dress code.
TAGBOARD
talkings.
preferably cbox//shoutmix.
entries;
myself;
shouts;
links;
my past;
Get awesome blog templates like this one from BlogSkins.com