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Monday, December 8, 2008
i cannot believe I am actually auditioning. Really, it doesn't make sense to set myself up for failure and stress. I know, if Erin Fischer and I am aiming for the same part, there is absolutely no possible way that I'd get it. None, Zip, Nada. I really don't want to audition, I feel like I'm just going to make a fool of myself and completely screw up. Perhaps this is fate, perhaps I really don't need to be doing this. I don't like I offer anything to this play and as much as I'd absolutely love to be in it, I don't think it is feasible. I did what I claimed and somehow miraculously thought I wouldn't do: I got my hopes up. For a few deluded seconds, I thought I had a chance... It only requires belting and yelping, no real singing, there isn't that much competition, I've paid my dues, etc...... That is all crap, and somewhere, deep down, I knew it. I am really really tempted to simply go home and not audition...I feel like I'm about to throw up. I know this is a silly thing to tear myself up over, especially since I was (or should've been) aware of my fate this entire time. I know there will be other shows, but if I make high school plays, how will I ever survive theatre elsewhere?I honestly don't know what to do, I just really don't want to have to deal with this over and over again. Whenever I'm acting on stage, I'm in an entirely different state of mind, I'm elated and completely at peace, and this horribly tense feeling is completely erased from my memory, and I can't imagine doing anything else with my life. Yet now I'd easily just relinquish all this deluded dreams of pursing theatre and hoping to make something of it. I really just don't know what to do....
Measuring life in love at.12:54 PM
Ann
Loves:Theatre(shocking), Armenia, Nutella, Rain, Musicals, World Music, Spanish, Origami, Tolerance, Scrubs, Reading, Tech, Poetry, Peace, Screenwriting, Travel, Wedding Cakes, Art Class, Shakespeare, Contemporary Issues.
Loathes: Algebra, High School Musical, Athletics, Blind Patriotic Idiocy, Chapel, Turkey, Azerbaijan, Dress code.
TAGBOARD
talkings.
preferably cbox//shoutmix.
entries;
myself;
shouts;
links;
my past;
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